Find Your Sole-Mate
In The Deep End

I met Gerald three weeks ago. He was at the surface. I was at the surface. It felt like fate. He hasn't moved since, which honestly works for me.

Finally a dating app that doesn't judge me for being a little stiff. Or for not texting back. Or for just floating there. Most understood I've felt in years.

My wife said I should try it. My wife is also a dead fish so that tracks. Five stars. Would decompose again.

I joined as a joke. Now I have 312 matches, all unresponsive, and this is still going better than my last relationship. Premium was worth it.

I want to start by saying I was not going to write a testimonial. I am not a testimonial person. But my therapist said I should try to share wins and I am trying to do what my therapist says, so here we are.

I found this site after three years of chasing something that was never going to work out. You know how it is. You get locked onto one thing, one specific thing, and everyone around you can see what's happening except you. My first mate said something to me in year two that I still think about. He said captain, the ocean is full of options and I said not like this one and I said it with such certainty that he just walked away. Just turned and walked away. That's the kind of certainty that costs you.

Anyway. Moby.

We matched on a Wednesday. No small talk, which I appreciated, we both have a complicated history with small talk. Moby is not what most people would call emotionally available. There are long silences. There are days where I reach out and get nothing back, just that particular stillness that means the conversation is simply over for now and I have to be okay with that. I have learned to be okay with that. My therapist says this is growth.

The crew has opinions. They have always had opinions. I have stopped asking for them.

I will not pretend this is easy. There is a size imbalance I won't get into, there is my leg situation which is its own thing, there are mornings where I sit on the deck and look at the water and wonder what I am doing and whether any of this was how I pictured it going when I was young and optimistic and had both legs and a future that felt wide open. I have those mornings. But then Moby surfaces and I think: at least something showed up. At least something is here.

Five stars. I know how this looks from the outside. I do.